mood, mood, where are you?

image from: zeitgeistudios.com

    The problem with being an artist or thinking you're an artist is that whenever you want to do anything, anything at all, be it the everyday mundane things like eating or going to the bathroom, to the more important things like finishing your assignments, you have to wait for the 'mood' or the 'inspiration'. And this 'mood' or 'inspiration' doesn't come easily; the time, place, temperature, and context has to be just right for it to grace you with its presence and even then sometimes it refuses to come just for the sake of annoying you. This is why artists or artist-wanabees can never stick to deadlines, the 'mood' refuses to be punctual. Right now my 'mood' is probably floating around arrogantly somewhere completely ignoring the fact that i desperately need it to finish my assignments! Ya Allah please order my 'mood' to come and serve me. :(

Me Zombie

image from androipit.com

      Zombie mode is turned on again thanks to sleepless nights and exhausting days. As I get older (not that i'm old or anything) the effects of lack of sleep seem more apparent. The dark circles under my eyes, the watery eyes with red veins scratched all over my eyeballs, the constant frown on my face, have all successfully managed to repel people (well not really but they will soon). And that's just my physical appearance. My body feels like it's been stuffed into a pillow case and swung around violently to finally land with a BAM, BOOM, BADABING, BADABOOM, BABOON, BANGGGG!!! At times I literally have to drag my body to class and when I reach class I look for the seat furthest from the lecturer's table so I'll be covered from his/her view when the other kids sit in front of me so I can top up my zzz. I feel like I've aged 20 years in 2 weeks. When is this hell gonna be over? :(

Goood morning blog! :)

random neighbourhood cat

Gooood morning my beautiful blog! I don't know why mornings are always so beautiful in my sister's house. Maybe it has something to do with the lighting, or the view from the 5th floor, or the fact that my sister and brother in law wake up late so I have a few hours of the house to myself before I have to comb this tangled mess I call hair. Oh wait, it's not that at all. I woke up and automatically reached for my phone and found the cutest little text from a special someone and just smiled a sleepy smile for about a minute or so and then I fell asleep again and woke up 2 hours later but it's ok because they're still not up. 

   Today is the 19th of November. My little sister's birthday is 9 days away and I was thinking of doing something special. Since she's not here I can go about my plans without having to hide them but I have no idea what I'm gonna do. I dowanna buy her something because that's what everyone does for birthdays, buy each other gifts. Why can't birthdays be a day where people make or find things for you? Wouldn't it be so much more meaningful and sincere? And it saves so much money. If you were to buy someone a birthday gift and they hated it but told you they loved it because they didn't wanna hurt your feelings but just ended up chucking it under their bed to collect dust and other unmentionables its just a waste of your money. Now if you didn't have to pay for it, it wouldn't make you feel so bad. So I'm gonna think hard (or just think because my brain has been overloaded with pressure lately) about what I'm gonna make her for her birthday. toodles.

KT Tunstall - Other Side Of The World

Katy Perry - The One That Got Away

It's the little things that make the biggest difference

image from www.bellasugar.com

A certain someone inspired me to check on my long-deceased blog. For the past month I've been on a emotional roller coaster and the ride is still not over. A wise person told me women are emotional. I've heard it a billion times before and denied it a billion times but now i have come to accept it as part of who I am. I've also learnt that I don't know myself as well as I thought. I am predictable. And I thought that was the one thing I wasn't. It kinda feels like someone splashed cold water in my face and I'm realizing how completely oblivious I was before.

    Anyway, I do think I should stop with all this emotional blabbering which is kinda boring me too now. So now, right now, I'm only gonna talk bout how 1 scarf changed my whole day. So I envy this classmate of mine because of her fashion courage; she came to class one day wearing this colourful scarf that looked edible and immediately I pictured myself wearing it. Then I thought to myself why don't I ever wear something like that? So my friend and I went to this guy that sells insanely awesome scarves and shawls and even demonstrated how to wear them (so adorable) and we literally had a stroke from all the awesomeness. As I was browsing through the many beautiful scarves I remembered my mother (because she always wears these kinds of scarves) and thought wouldn't it be brilliant if I just went home 'shopping' in her scarf drawer? And that's exactly what I did. I had a second stroke of coures when I found even prettier scarves than the ones the guy was selling for free. And the best part was since my mom can't find matching clothes for some of them they were just waiting patiently there ripe for the picking. But among all of them there was one that stood out and I fell absolutely in love with it. 

   So when I got back to campus I couldn't wait to wear it. I was thinking to wear it with something black so it would pop out but that's what I always do and I suddenly had a revelation that told me to wear it with something red. So i wore my red skirt and red sweater and put on the scarf and looked in the mirror. I must have frozen for about 5 minutes or so. You know the feeling you get when the clothes you put on match perfectly and you want everyone to look at you because you think you're the prettiest girl in the whole world? Well that should describe how I was feeling. I wore my adorable new black flats (thank you mama!) and headed to class like I was on top of the world (even though I was late because I couldn't get away from the mirror). The rest of the day was just perfect or that's how I remembered it because all that was important was that I felt pretty that day and a simple scarf managed to do that.

My Grand Canyon has a lot of rocks

image from Photobucket.com

I have to admit it feels weird to be writing after a long time of not writing. I don't know why I stopped, I just did. So much has happened I don't know which I want to talk about first, or even which is important enough to mention.
   I don't want to get too deep too soon so I guess I'll just stick to the simple stuff like I managed to lose 5 kgs and everyone noticed which makes me feel so awesome but on the downside now my hemoglobin count is low and I couldn't donate blood to a woman who was in desperate need of platelets. Now everyone is at my throat thinking I'm purposely starving myself when all I've done was successfully reduced my overall appetite by shrinking my stomach. Yeah, that's simple compared to everything else. Why is it that I'm such a pessimistic emotional freak? Why can't I just be happy for 2 seconds and remember that everyone has problems, it's not only me?
   Picture your life as the Grand Canyon and every problem you have as the little rocks in the canyon. See how small they are when you look at the big picture. I'll try to remember this in times of trouble.