SPEAK!

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Say something will you? Why are you so quiet? What are you thinking about? How am I even supposed to have a decent conversation with you if you won't say anything, let alone anything decent? What are you a mute? Don't you have anything to say? Anything at all?

No.

No?

No, I don't have anything to say. And I find that if I have don't have anything to say it's best I shut up. My mind only seems to speak the language of thoughts, not people. I can have hours and hours of conversations with myself in my head but can't seem to have the ability nor the will to keep up a conversation with an actual person. The world is just too dull a place for me to keep my attention in. That is why I prefer to wander in my thoughts. There no one judges me for what I say, no one even expects me to pay attention to whatever sound they're producing and pathetically wait for my brilliant reply. Why is it that I have to speak at all? Why should I when the right words refuse to come out of my mouth? They all just patiently wait to be written and they don't mind. I used to not mind too. But now I do, now that the course of my life depends on them. Words, why do you always fail me? But is it really the words? Or is it the thoughts that refuse to form in the first place. If I really thought about what I have to say then all I have to do is say it, right? I guess I don't think about what to say because I don't feel there's a need to. I don't feel anything. Is there something wrong with me if I don't feel anything? I don't feel the urgency in a situation when my relationship with someone depends on the pathetic little sounds that come out of my mouth. I can't call that speech because I don't think the other party really understands what I'm helplessly trying to convey. I used to wish that I had teleportation as my superpower, and I'd wish that if I only had one wish. Now I wish I could just teleport people into my thoughts so they would truly understand what I'm trying to say.